I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
