Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
