Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
no you cant smoke seaweed
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
