I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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