i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
