so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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