Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
