i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Pooping to opera.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize