What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
