ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
