I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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