i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
