Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
