I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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