hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
