Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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