Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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