I need help removing her.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize