it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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