how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
