let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
