i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
