honey bunches of taint.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
