I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Im part way to drunk.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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