Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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