it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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