wat bout pragnant strippers??
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
