He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
