I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize