Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
