It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
