Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
