careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
