hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do herpes really smell.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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