What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My Sexting was not on an AP level
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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