Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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