Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
