is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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