This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
