Duck Duck Cougar?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
