It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
