i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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