pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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