Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
