Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
