TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bring me that man meat
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
