508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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