Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
