I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
