But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
