the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
