I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
