Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
