Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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