You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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