Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
