Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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