if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Apparently you make a good broom.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
